Thursday, December 6, 2007

How Much for that Bundle of Twigs?

Sounds like the opening line for a Monty Python sketch, but it isn't.

You see dear reader my wife recently decided (as is her prerogative) that the empty corner in the dining room needed a little something. That something turned out to be a rather large and to me, expensive, urn.

Of course any woman would tell you that an urn has to have something in it, so leaving Pier One, off we go to Wal Mart. I dutifully follow Mrs. Zip through the maze of aisles and Christmas shoppers, both of which I wish there were fewer of, till we arrive at the craft section.

My lovely bride begins picking up small tidy bundles, she starts with the pretty coloured grasses, at this point I have no complaint, as I'd never seen bright red grass growing in the wild. After careful consideration, however, she changes her mind (this too is her prerogative, really more of a genetic imperative I think) and begins looking at the packages of sticks.

They were tall, thin, garden variety twigs really, barely enough to start a decent fire, I think, but she picks and chooses till she has the "right one". At this point I come back from my happy place (where I spend a good deal of the time when shopping) just long enough to look at the price...

$13.78.

$13.78 for a meager clutch of anorexic lumber!?

At this point I use one of my rare shopping veto's, promising that "I'll get you your twigs."

So today I spent 30 minutes (including the 5 minute walk each way) to gather together some sticks, twice the amount in the Wal Mart kindling package, and even some tall "ornamental" grass for my blushing bride.

Anywho... all this to say that I salute the businessman who has managed to convince the stupefied city dweller that we need to spent $13.78 on a bundle of twigs when 99.9% of us live within spitting distance of some form of shrubbery.

Conversely... I deride my fellow Urban Neanderthals, I mean how freaking lazy have people become that they are too corpulent and/or sloth to step away from the latest episode of CSI and DIY...

1 comment:

Russ said...

Those sticks were personally blessed by the Wali Lama who is the spiritual head of Walmart. His land of origin, the US Midwest Manufacturing sector which is currently being invaded by the same ruthless Chinese regime that has invaded Tibet. Just like the saffron robed monks of Tibet, the blue vested Walmart employee is peaceful and only wishes to roll up the savings to you.